Got a question about your sex life? Don't be shy, and don't die wondering. Send your quandaries and curiosities to: SexHerald.

Dear SexHerald Advisor,

In porn, guys going back and forth between women’s vaginas and anuses and it looks damn hot. I want to try it, but my girlfriend says it would cause infections. There must be some way to do it, right?

Jeremy

Dear Jeremy,

As a rule, anything that has been inside the anus cannot go in the vagina without an extremely thorough cleaning. You could just change your condom every time you want to switch holes, but that is not particularly sexy.

Your other option is to use female condoms. Though more expensive than male condoms (the type that’s worn on the penis), female condoms have many perks. They go inside the woman and, when correctly inserted, mold to her vaginal walls and stay there, creating a more natural feel for both partners.

Female condoms can also be used for anal sex. Simply remove the small, inner ring, use plenty of lube, and insert the condom into the anus. This way, you will easily be able to switch between anal and vaginal intercourse without spreading any infection-causing bacteria. If you are monogamous and have both been tested, you can use just one female condom, in the anus. I, however, recommend putting a condom in each hole.

Dear SexHerald Advisor,

I’ve been hearing that syphilis is making a comeback. What the hell?

William

Dear William,

Syphilis his, indeed, made a comeback in recent years. Along with Chlamydia and gonorrhea, it is among the most common sexually transmitted diseases in the United States. Syphilis is, however, more dangerous than many of the other easily contractible diseases, as it is can be fatal if left untreated. The easiest way to avoid syphilis is to practice safe sex and get screened regularly. There are, however, some groups that are more at risk than others.

According to the latest data released by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, African Americans accounted for as many as half of all syphilis cases in the U.S. Similarly, almost half of new syphilis infections occurred in 15-to 24-year-olds. Additional groups at risk are gay men (63 percent of all cases) and the elderly. Almost all of these groups are known, as a generality, to have limited sexual education with regard to sexually transmitted diseases. There have been noted outbreaks in North Carolina, Minnesota and the Washington D.C area, but the number of cases nationwide jumped 18% from 2007 to 2008.

Dear SexHerald Advisor,

I really want my boyfriend to be a little rough while we’re having sex, but he says can’t do it because he respects me too much. That’s sweet, but frustrating! What should I do?

Annie

Dear Annie,

Short answer? He'll probably get over it. Speaking with a certain level of experience in this matter, I can say that the first time a guy hears his girlfriend ask for some rough play, it can be a bit unsettling, especially if he doesn't have any prior history with it. The main thing is to be persistent. You should have a talk with him outside of the bedroom about why you like what you like, and exactly how it turns you on. Do you like to feel dominated? Like your man is in complete control? Do you enjoy feeling helpless in his arms? Tell him these things. There is a very good chance that he will find them sexy as well and begin to take steps toward giving you what you want.

Once you've talked, you should move the conversation into the bedroom. Ask for what you want -- specifically, but not too clinically. I will leave the specifics to you, but try to work some dirty talk into what you are asking for. Be reassuring, supportive and patient, and most of all, don't focus too much on getting him to do exactly what you want and forget to enjoy the rest of the experience.